☝️ Key Points
- The song deals with the emotional burden and ambivalence in a dysfunctional relationship.
- The singer expresses his confusion, uncertainty, and pain when the partner leaves the relationship but keeps coming back.
- He needs time and distance from the relationship to understand that he is not the right person for his partner, although he knows he will always come back to him.
- The part about the 'guardian angel' illustrates deep disappointment and disillusionment as the person he once idealized turns out to be an illusion.
- The song is an expression of confusion, pain, and disappointment from a relationship that doesn't deliver what it promised.
Interpretation
The song 'LOST IN THE CITADEL' by
Lil Nas X is about an emotional rollercoaster in a relationship marked by insecurities and heartache.
In the first verse 'Tell me, are you feeling down? Are you happy? Do your dreams still sink in down? Tell me, are we finished now? Cause every time you leave, you find your way to come back around' the singer expresses his confusion and uncertainty about the state of his relationship.
In the chorus 'I need time to get up and get off the floor. I need time to realize that I can't be yours. I need time to give up just like before. I love it how you know I'd only come right back for more' he talks about needing time and distance from the relationship to realize that he is not the right person for his partner. However, he is aware that he would always come back to that person, which shows a sense of ambivalence.
In the verses 'My guardian angel, I only seen you in your halo... Why I thought it was forever? I only see you maybe never' he speaks of the disappointment that his partner, whom he once saw as his guardian angel, turned out to be an illusion. He questions why he thought their love would be forever when the reality looks so different.
Overall, 'LOST IN THE CITADEL' is a lament about a relationship that didn't work out and the deep disappointment and confusion that this situation brings.