☝️ Key Points
- The song is about a young man who is in a toxic relationship and is aware of it
- Despite knowing that he is being used, he stays in the relationship, mainly due to his low self-esteem
- He shows confusion and helplessness when she claims to only want him, but sleeps with his friends and treats him like a disease
- He has the mistaken perception that suffering in a relationship is a sign of true affection
- Overall, the song portrays the protagonist's constant struggle and suffering in an unhealthy relationship
Interpretation
The song 'Self Esteem' by
The Offspring is about a young man who is in a toxic relationship. He is aware that he is being used, as stated in the lines 'Woah, I know I'm being used' and 'Woah, I know she's playing with me'. Despite this realization, he stays in the relationship because he believes his low self-esteem ('I got no self esteem') leaves him with no other choice.
The passages where he says 'When she's saying ah that she wants only me / Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends' and 'When she's saying ah that I'm like a disease / Then I wonder how much more I can spend' show his confusion and helplessness. She claims to only want him, but sleeps with his friends. She treats him like a disease, yet he continues to spend his money on her.
His insecurity and lack of self-respect are evident in the lines 'Well I guess I should stick up for myself / But I really think it's better this way'. He knows he should stand up for himself, but believes it's better to just keep going as before.
The repeated 'The more you suffer / The more it shows you really care' is a distorted perception of love that is often found in toxic relationships. It suggests that the protagonist believes that suffering is a sign of true affection.
Overall, the song describes an unhealthy relationship in which the protagonist is being used and cannot stand up for himself due to his low self-esteem.